Matt Sussman

suss2hyphens If you can graze the trackpad with a fingertip, that's pretty good.

suss2hyphens To determine your true Internet "reach," set down your laptop, stand up, and try to reach the laptop with your hand.

suss2hyphens Pistons, Knicks, FIU are all tanking. CBA doesn't exist. Only entity Isiah Thomas ever touched that's doing OK is Anucha Browne Sanders.

suss2hyphens The New York Knicks are 8-15. Florida International is 6-15.

suss2hyphens So, between pitches. RT @dianagram : @suss2hyphens and half and hour later, his team feels like it wants to bat again

suss2hyphens If he goes to Japan, Brad Penny's gonna have to learn how to eat innings with chopsticks.

suss2hyphens One of these years they're going to forget to play the Super Bowl. Not this year; they'll probably remember.

suss2hyphens Because as a Tigers fan I feel almost guilty, I'm going to credit Indians fans whenever I can.

suss2hyphens (I saw the Frank Thomas tweets via @letsgotribe )

suss2hyphens God, dammit, Josh Hamilton, you have lupus.

suss2hyphens I think @horse_ebooks just invented the new Cha Cha Slide.

suss2hyphens 15 more days until TV sports shows have new b-roll!

suss2hyphens Rivers v. FCC RT @Deadspin : A Man Is Suing To Assert His Legal Right To Scream "Fuck You" At Chargers Games http://t.co/ch4jzC4l

suss2hyphens Yes, I'm late to work, but I have a good reason. Toejam & Earl music came on the iPod and I had to groove the rest of the way here.

suss2hyphens Nelson Cruz was supposed to watch Josh Hamilton tonight. "Don't worry, guys, I got him. He's—" [looks over shoulder] [looks around]

suss2hyphens Super Bowl squares are pyramid schemes.

suss2hyphens I think the Astros just signed Mike Hessman to replace Chris Shelton in Triple-A.

suss2hyphens Peyton Manning listed as doubtful for Sunday (team didn't make playoffs)

suss2hyphens Key compoment in AP's curling story: no dumbed down explanation of the sport. Progress! http://t.co/ozIf4osn

suss2hyphens I trust you as far as I can throw you, but then again I was all-district in naïvelin toss.

suss2hyphens Indians have created the mouse fart of first base controversies.

suss2hyphens Indians are negotiating with Casey Kotchman in the hopes he's Casey Blake.

suss2hyphens The 50th one should be Super Bowl IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

suss2hyphens Jim Tressel will help bring in money and benefits for University of Akron students, which is legal.

suss2hyphens The rest of the Madonna interview will be centaur questions.