Scary Mommy

scarymommy Evan ran to me at school pick up today with a huge grin on his face and a clenched palm. "Mommy! Mommy! I have... http://t.co/DYSEXShQ

scarymommy Why do I even bother buying tights? http://t.co/QmC9gyCD

scarymommy Oh, the joys of having little boys... http://t.co/i8BTJnZ2

scarymommy If you want to maintain an appetite for the rest of the day, please don't click on the link I tweeted to @YahooShine . I mean it.

scarymommy You know what sucks? When you wake up in the same crappy mood you went to bed in.

scarymommy If you are a mother and you can't relate to this, I kind of hate you. The Seven Stages of Going to Target with Children http://t.co/rRNHDDlX

scarymommy The only question is: Do you wear yours as shoes, too? RT @Cecilyk So @ScaryMommy and I totally have the same slippers. http://t.co/JgNPPKl2

scarymommy @postpartumprogr I was just thinking the same thing. Such an impact.

scarymommy So saddened to hear of @whymommy 's passing. She was an inspiration to so many of us. http://t.co/lCyFyBw0

scarymommy The Seven Stages of Going to Target with Children http://t.co/JBGopRdL

scarymommy This is the best reason EVER to buy my book. I love it! https://t.co/s32XOlR6

scarymommy 10 Reasons It's Awesome to Be an Insomniac http://t.co/wW4fRyCq via @The_Stir

scarymommy Lily has begun Googling and the time has come to start with parental controls. Suddenly, I miss baby gates and drawer locks.

scarymommy I hate my post-kid body. There, I said it. http://t.co/3vTQWpYb

scarymommy You might hate me for this post, but it's the truth. A Mother's Body. http://t.co/3vTQWpYb

scarymommy Cutest Valentines ever from @coolprogeny . Love them! http://t.co/heyeqvCp

scarymommy There are people who bake cakes & people who buy. Then there are the people who insist on baking when everyone wishes they'd buy. That's me.

scarymommy Eight years ago today, I said goodbye to modesty, bladder control and the ability to sleep through the night. Happy Birthday, Lily!

scarymommy I know that I AM one, but I've come to the conclusion that women are fucking crazy. Let's just embrace it.

scarymommy I'm beginning to wonder if everyone is born an Oscar-worthy actor, and most of us just let the skill go as we age?... http://t.co/BF44Funp

scarymommy I was SO productive from 10PM-2AM last night. The only problem? It's almost noon and I feel like I've been run over by a truck.

scarymommy Emptying my children's lunchboxes fully explains why they are famished everyday after school. Twelve hour old sandwich, anyone?

scarymommy Story of my LIFE. http://t.co/j5ZzVm2S

scarymommy My heart falls a little every time the UPS truck drives by my house without stopping. What am I, 5?! Note to self: Order something on-line.

scarymommy Can we all pretend that it's Saturday please?